i [[think]] i've lost my muchness

i used to be [[much]] more muchier....


as tears fill in my eyes {for no real reason at all}, i am [[for once]] at a loss for words.  Life is just {alkdjfasdfjas;dlfasdf;ldsfsadf} right now; and if anyone knows what this -----> {alkdjfasdfjas;dlfasdf;ldsfsadf} means, please let me know because I've been searching and searching and [[searching]] and i just can't figure it out.  It's not just {one} thing that's wrong, and it's not {everything}, but I don't know {what} [[thing]] it is.  If anyone is still following me, you've {understood} more than i have.
i have come to find that life is all about {pretending}.  {pretend} to happy.  {pretend} to be okay.  {pretend} that you like it.  {pretend}. {pretend}. {pretend}.  i [[personally]] am sick of pretending.  it's just never felt so.... [[wrong]].  so, how do i bring back my {muchness}?

24th Birthday Celebration

I made it to 24 alive!!!! Thanks to everyone who came and helped me celebrate my eventful day.  I had a blast and enjoyed spending time with all of you.

The night was filled with beer pong, friends, dogs and drinking!  All which was a blast and I couldn't have picked better people to spend my time with.  To all my friends: You all are truly amazing.

 Just some of the awesome people that came:

 Christiana & Tyler

Birthday Girls: Katie & Jamie

 Best Friend Alycia & Boyfriend Richie

 Jill Beans & me

 Best Friends

Little Reno is growing so fast!

My little baby is getting so big so fast. He's such a joy to have around. He definitely makes the days a little brighter. He's so spunky and hyper most of the time and he has a hard time settling down, but once he's tired, he curls up next to you in a ball and loves every second of it. He loves to take naps with me and of course, he sleeps with me every night! When I leave for work in the morning, he sits by the garage door and whines for a little bit, he knows I'm his mommy and he misses me when I'm gone. I love the little booger! It was one of the best decisions that Rich & I could have made. He's our little baby and we adore him. Yes, he gets into trouble sometimes, yes he pees and poos in the house sometimes, but what dog doesn't? The good always overcomes the bad with Reno. You can't stay mad at him for very long either, he doesn't let you. He just looks at you with his adorable beady eyes and you can tell he's crying inside because he knows we're mad. Poor little guy.

He's my little baby and I love him!

The Best

My life.

My world.

My everything.

Rich is the most amazing person that I have ever meet. I want to spend the rest of my life with this man. He gives me constant butterflies. He calls me beautiful. He's my shoulder to cry on when I'm sad. He's there for me anytime of the day, everyday. He's the greatest person I'll ever meet, he's my soulmate.

Little Reno

I finally did it. I've done what I've wanted to for so long but has never had the chance. I BOUGHT A PUPPY! He's such a joy. The potty training is a bit difficult, he doesn't like to listen, but we have fun. I love Little Reno!

What is Love

I stumbled across this quote and had nothing really productive to do with my day, so I thought I'd share. I find this a really profound quote, one of the best I've ever seen. It makes you think, it sure made me think. It makes you wonder and it makes you strive. Strive to find this kind of love in your life.

“To love somebody unconditionally means that you love that person EXACTLY how they are, exactly as they were before, and exactly as they will be in the future.”

Wow. I never thought of love this way. Everybody has a different view and idea of how love is, or what love should be, or what the real meaning is. I don’t think that any one person could give you the correct meaning of Love, because I don’t think there is just one correct meaning. I think love is different to everybody. It means something different to each person, each individual, and the way they go about expressing it. There shouldn’t be any right or wrong answer for what love is. I do, however, believe this is an amazing rule of thumb to go off of. In order to completely understand love, you must first forget everything you have ever learned about it. You need an open mind. You are the only person who can tell you what love is and if you have some ridiculous view on love because of what you've previously been told, you're never going to think love is anything more then that, ridiculous.

How many parents do you think use this as a rule of thumb when raising their children? Think of what a better world this would be if parents did use this. I don't think that parents, or people have a problem with accepting people as they are right now, or even as they were... But for people to accept someone as who they're going to be, when their lives are ever constantly changing, that's a huge step. You have no idea what the future is going to hold. You have no idea if you're even going to be the same person, muchless if a friend or family or significant other will be the same. It's somewhat of a frightening thought, depending on who you're thinking about. That's the mystery though!! That's why it's TRUE love. No one ever said true love would be easy. No one ever said loving someone unconditionally was going to be as fun as swinging on swing seats. You've got to take the good with the bad.

"And exactly as they will be in the future." That doesn't mean that it's your responsibility to change a person. That doesn't mean that you should pursuade them to be someone or something different. I am presently seeing many relationships that are like that. They accept the person now, and they accept who they were before, but they have this mantality that "I can change this person. And they should change for me if they really love me." NO! You don't make the person change for you, you accept the person for who they're going to be. Those relationships won't last. Yes, maybe they'll be together for a year, maybe 2, maybe 5. But in the end, it wasn't ever TRUE love. It may have been love, but it wasn't something lasting. You should never ask a person to change for you, ever.

No matter what though, I do know one thing for sure: Real love is unconditional; always. Real love will just keep giving.

Introduction

I've always thought about starting this blogging thing but then wondered about how many people would actually read my blog if I posted one. I then came to the conclusion that I really don't care. I love to write, it's one my favorite things to do. So I decided to just write and not really care if anybody reads it or not. I'm just going to write because I want to, not necessarily because people are going to read it.

A little bit about me: The name is Katie, I'm 23 years old and I enjoy life to the fullest as much as I can. I work full time for a mortgage company. I love my job, most days. I have an amazing boyfriend, he rocks my socks off. We've been together for a year and a half and it's been an awesome time. No regrets. He's a true gentleman, in every way. My family is the greatest ever. I think they're finally to the point where they understand me, which awesome because I don't even understand myself. I was born in California, moved to Utah when I was 12 and have lived here ever since, I consider Utah my home. I'd one day like to move, but that's just because I want a fresh start somewhere new, I want to explore a new place.